Then it begins.

Blameworthy conception.

Without this particular day, perhaps her future would have played out with ease. Graduating high school, going to college, getting the proper care and help.

Yet, fate decided otherwise.

Tanya found herself at this party. This precise party.

Parties weren’t an unknown concept to the girl. At this ripe age of sixteen, her “sweetest” of years, she had become a regular at high school kick backs or keg parties. Late night gatherings while a students guardians were not where to be seen.

Perhaps her brother was to thank. She followed in his footsteps.

Though, she was more a frequent attender than Alex. Inviting others to deem her the schools residential party girl.

She was exactly that. Picture perfect for the title. A skinny, blonde girl with problems to dance away. While being overly intoxicated from whatever alcohol these teenagers could get their grimy hands on.

It wasn’t until tonight that she had truly become what everyone saw her as.

Drugs were not Tanya’s cup of tea. In all honesty, she had never been offered any form of drug.

Fate chose this night to change it all. As she sat, comfortably on a couch with others. The adolescents around her passed around a bong, Tanya practically bathing in the scent. Her hand babysat a nearly empty red solo cup. Growing curious of the substance that they smoked. Weed smelt familiar on these nights. Occasionally she would smell it on Alex as well. She never grew brave enough to embrace or indulge.

Then one man begged the question. “Yo, Tans, you wanna hit?” He asked between small coughs.

A lump grew nervously in her throat. The feeling mixed with excitement. “Sure.” She sat up, setting her cup down. “Show me?” Her tone had a small hint of flirting to it. Playing a naive role.

“Take it, I’ll light it.”

The two sat closer to each other. With direction, she brought the top of the bong to her mouth. Her eyes watched the lighter ignite and burn the substance in the bowl.

A sound of boiling water rung in her ears. His voice talking over loud music. “Inhale, not too much,” The boy instructed.

As she did, her lungs began to hurt. Not too much. Unfortunately she had already been used to smoking. Only cigarettes though.

He lifted the piece as she inhaled before pulling it away.

“Inhale again.”

Following his instructions, again, she breathed inwards whilst her lips were sealed shut. “Now exhale.”

With a puff of smoke leaving her lips, Tanya was left in a coughing fit. Her lungs and chest burned. Smacking her chest, her eyes watered while another person on the couch passed her drink to her as she chugged it.

“Shit—“ She said in a hoarse voice.

A girl nearby laughed. “Are you alright, girl?” She glanced over. The blonde squinted with a thumbs again.

After a few moments passed, she was offered another hit. With slightly more ease, she took it. Then sunk into the couch while she waited for it to kick in. Staring off to people wandering around and dancing.

And it washed over her. A calming sensation. Her soft, pink lips curled into a smile.

“Oh… my.. god…” She mumbled, feeling in awe. Her hands ran over her face, then through her hair. A laugh escaped her lips. Then followed by more giggles. Cheeks growing warmer, body feeling lighter. This is what her life was missing. A feeling of elation.

The boy smiled and nudged her. “Amazing, right?” His tone was gentle.

Slowly, her head slumped to look at him as she began to giggle more and smiled brightly, her nose scrunching up.

“I feel…” Tanya spoke, trying not to laugh. “So happy!” She gasped. He nodded.

“That’s the weed, baby,” He ruffled her hair.

“I’ve never been so happy.”

As she looked away, her eyes drifted to the ceiling. Having her hands roam over her whole body. Examining the texture of her clothes, skin, everything. The music seemed to now drown everything out. Party goers voices turned into muffled noise. She sunk into the feeling. Becoming one in this universe.

Her smile was now soft and delicate. Resting her hands in her lap. This feeling could never end, she wanted to hold it forever. Keep it and feel it every day.