I smiled as I watched the stars glisten in the night sky, the moon glowing it’s beautiful silver hue. I always feel the most peace during nights like this. A clear night sky, with a gentle Autumn breeze sweeping across the grass.

Each star more dazzling than the last. I want to be up there, shining like them. Beautiful and radiant; comforting.

I don’t think there’s anything more comforting than seeing light in the dark. Like wandering around a pitch black night with nothing but the moon shining above you. You don’t feel alone. You feel rather the opposite. You feel placated, or rather soothed by the silver luminescence of the heavenly body of the moon.

But to me there’s something more beautiful than the moon are the stars, something I once read. It said that most of the stars we see in the night sky are actually already dead. That what we are seeing are just the remnants of the light they once radiated.

My only hope is my death will be like that. That my life will be as important to the people I love as they are to me; that my death won’t matter because I still live in their hearts.

My eyes became heavy, I held my stomach where my wound poured out blood. I don’t want to die, but this is for the best; for everyone. Despite my wish to be important like the stars, I know I am as alone as the stars in the sky.

Though they look close together, they are actually millions, maybe even billions of light years away. Alone in a vast darkness, just like I am in this moment. The wound I inflicted on myself, no longer hurt. A wave of relief came over me, it’s time.

“Good bye, my only friends.” I said as I let go of the life I desperately pined for my entire life. The one where I was chained by the past, and weighed down by the present, but never looking towards to the future. The life I hated.

“I am finally ….”