If only I were thinner.

Maybe i'd be able to step on a scale without the numbers making me nauseous.

If only I could fall in love.

Maybe I'd be able to find someone who will hold me the way I desperately need.

If only I wrote happy poetry.

Maybe people would like my writing more if it wasn't so depressing and deprecating.

If only I knew who I was.

Maybe I wouldn't be a chameleon changing to fit my surroundings until I'm a horrid mix of everything.