Every day seems the same, but today was the day. As I cradled life and death between the palm of my hand. I thought back, to yesterday, when I was here, in this same spot in front of this same house waiting for you. And today, I finally saw you; Through the emptiness of the leaves I would use to shield my descriptive attributes, I saw you. You, as usual gracing the wind with the flow of your breath and admirably honoring the sun with your skin. You finally were there. This. This was the sign.

Today, is different because today you were more surprised to see me than ever before. Do you miss me? Today, I knew the truth. Can I ever forgive you? You also moved around a bit more than I recalled. Did you change your shampoo? Conditioner? Today, we were closer than we’ve been in months. And I you were wrapped in my arms I almost forgot it all. I almost forgot about the betrayal you beautifully ushered into my life. I wonder, do you still feel the imprint of his dick inside of you, love? Does it still make you wet thinking about how he would fuck you? I almost forgot how well you lied and how easy I let you. You never answered my question before, was he better then me? Wow, I nearly forgot the fact of how I could physically feel the tearing of my heart all those nights I spent crying over the deep rooted sorrow I….

I soon would remember. Remember the reason I revisited your house every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon from 2-11pm for the last 13 months. And most importantly why this gun still felt ice cold inside my hand. Do you miss me? I snugged you deeper into the barrel of my steel-plated defense.

I was patient. I was the kind one. I never fucking once was rude or handled you arrogantly. I bore all things, believed in you always, hoped the best for you in anything, and endured all your fucking senseless bullshit you ungrateful slutty wide-legged whore!

So why

would I allow

you

to continue life

without the best thing

you could of

EVER

had.