It’s the first day of a new year,

and I won’t lie

I feel happy and on edge,

both hopeful and full of dread.

Instead of being out with

my friends,

I am stuck at home instead.

California is on lockdown

again.

There’s too many bodies

filling up the morgues,

too much death,

too much loss,

too many

loved ones missing

from dinner times

and unsaid prayers,

Christmas Eve and

the years end.

It’s the first day of a new year,

and I feel the same sun

kiss the space between the blinds,

warm rays bleeding light through,

like blood through

cracked lips.

It’s a fresh start.