It’s the first day of a new year, and I won’t lie I feel happy and on edge, both hopeful and full of dread. Instead of being out with my friends, I am stuck at home instead. California is on lockdown again. There’s too many bodies filling up the morgues, too much death, too much loss, too many loved ones missing from dinner times and unsaid prayers, Christmas Eve and the years end. It’s the first day of a new year, and I feel the same sun kiss the space between the blinds, warm rays bleeding light through, like blood through cracked lips. It’s a fresh start.