God I wish I hadn’t volunteered to be the person to break so many hearts. I volunteered to early and now it’s too damn late to back out. Chrysanthemum, my darling is one I’m terrified to hurt now. I’m afraid to tell her how I feel, for fear I may tear her heart out as I continue to fall. Too many have told me to confess. To confess would be to give myself up and how am I to do that and stay just as independent? I can’t imagine a life without her by far.

I’ve told her this all this evening. She had her suspicions and joked that she hoped it didn’t end up like the wilted flowers I left for her birthday. Or perhaps that chocolate cake that had disappeared in only a few days. To me, I’ve found there is heaven for us to find on earth, only it may take a special person to find it. That’s what love is, truly.