It was new for the whole family to go to a college orientation, obviously, I’m the eldest. Mama said it was best for us to stay overnight so we could get a feel for dorm life and so we didn’t have to make a six hour drive early in the morning. They had a game night, by they I mean the RAs that decided to volunteer over the summer also. Never did I imagine I’d spend the next three hours after settling in, with the nerdy girl who wore track pants and glasses. She stood a foot taller than me and had a deep voice I’d found intriguing from the beginning. Of course, nothing could happen; I wasn’t single or polyamorous. The queer nerds had to stick together, so it ended up being three of us. There was Leo, who was probably the most outgoing of us and a psychology nerd. Chrysanthemum of course, is a history and math nerd. Last is me, an art nerd. We hit it off all together while walking down to the lake and quickly learned that I was the only one who liked spiders. It was like that of the movies, the sun setting over the lake surrounded by people you love. Or perhaps they were just the people soon to be my classmates. We couldn’t be separated, so I brought some cards out to play a game, one I hadn’t heard of before. We played two rounds the three of us until Chrysanthemum needed her space, retreating to a worn chair. The three of us reminisced about applying for college and why we chose our school. It was all the simple things to get to know people. She was quiet and annoyingly hard to read. Chrysanthemum chuckled at the appropriate times while Leo and I went on a tangent about romance books. She seemed a little left out but we were both too excited to fully notice. We retreated to our respective rooms, of which I had my own, well after midnight. All too early into the morning, I woke up having to use the washroom and on my walk there I saw her. I loved seeing her in her sweet little pajama pants. They were normal pajama pants but they just seemed to look better on her and I wish I had said hi then.
Shit. That was the first thought through Alanna’s head as she looked down to see the dot on her chest. The second thought was how? No one new her here but she didn’t have time to wonder yet. No time to grab a jacket either; duck. The bullet flew just over the poof of her hair but there had to be eyes still on her. She had to get to the tunnels. Another bullet just brushed by the sleeve of her shirt as she dodged it again. Alanna slipped into her bathroom, then the shower where she seemed to disappear. She flipped a switch, turning on a string of Christmas lights going down the tunnel. Al found the trap door that led to the laundry room in her building and hopped down.
She doesn’t believe in souls at all but I do. I like to think of her as mustard yellow. The homey and warm kind of yellow of old wallpaper that has more browned edges as a sign of being lived in. She’s warm and welcoming with everything including her smile. When she looks at me, I can’t seem to think at all. Yellow sometimes means to slow down but I can’t seem to help it. Her personality feels like it’s inviting me in. I only hope the invite is to her heart.
It’s not easy being incarcerated period. I’m sure you would know well, being as it isn’t your first time. Now, when you’re being asked to use the skills that got you in this place to help them take care of a mission in the fucking coldest desert, that’s hard. You’ve got one purpose now or you’re done. If you can fix this GPS system, it’s over; you’ll be free. For now you’ve got to hope that military grade vehicles won’t freeze up.
I often say You never fall out of love with someone Instead The person you once were stays in love with them The You that you are now has never been in love. The me now has never been in love But I do know what it’s like I’m falling I feel as though I’ll never hit the ground With her I want to read every chapter She’s lived More than anything I hope the rest of her chapters Are happy.
