Why do I keep doing this to myself ! Why must I keep throwing away the the opportunitie to love. To surrender myself to love. It’s all I want. This is what I get for living in fear. I should’ve known it was a sign to go after her. Why in my right mid would i ever think she was the mole. It couldn’t be her. And even if she was, my love for her is stronger than the cause. Im to blinded by the fear of getting caught. I’m to consumed by my rigid beliefs. this cause that we are fighting for is not freedome….Love is freedome and I should’ve known. I miss understood a calling from the universe. This was a time she needed me the most and I let her down. I could’ve saved her. I mistook the situation for a ploy to destroy me when in reality I’m the one that’s destroying myself.