“I love you, Kevin! I think I’ll always love you, no matter what happens!” David shouted up at Kevin who was now leaning over his balcony to see who was making such a obnoxious declaration at four in the morning.

“David? What the fuck are you doing?” Kevin said, the reply coming out as a stifled yell as to not alert his neighbours to the bizarre scene.

“I’ve come to declare my love to you! I’ve been hiding the real me for too long now, and I’m tired of pretending!” His voice was louder now and carrying to the other flats above, Kevin was sure of it.

“Yeah, okay, but what did you mean when you said ‘no matter what happens’?”

“What?”

“You said ‘no matter what happens’ and, I dunno, it sounded kind of ominous, y’know?”

“Well, I meant broadly speaking, like, no matter what happens in our lives, I’ll be there for you - yeah?”

“Yeah okay I get it but, David, mate we hardly know each other and if I’m honest it’s kind of fucking mental that you’re here right now and doing this. I literally met you last month at work and we’ve been for one beer…and even then I think that was just a work thing?” Kevin said, his eyes adjusting to the darkness outside so that he could see David clearly now. Clearly holding a bouquet of sad flowers in one hand, and a dripping kitchen knife in the other.

He spoke slowly, as if talking to a possibly feral dog, “David, sorry to have to ask, mate, but is that a bloody knife in your hand?”

“Yeah.” David said, plainly and without any apparent acknowledgment of the situation at hand.

“Right…well have you hurt yourself?”

“Nah, I may have hurt someone else though.”

“Someone else?”

“Yeah, namely the doorman for your building.”

“Fucking hell! You stabbed Tony? What the fuck?” Kevin exclaimed, wanting to pull away from his balcony and into the safety of his flat, but compelled, by the bizarreness of the situation, to stay.

David’s voice was a bit quieter now, and Kevin had to strain to hear him.

“He wouldn’t let me in to say hi to you and deliver these,” he waved the smashed flowers around “and so I did him in.” David said, in the same tone that you might tell someone that you’d jus taken the bins out.

Kevin, against his better judgment, asked, “Did him in?” He was reaching for his phone now.

“Yeah, did him in, gave him a few stabs, sliced him up a few times - whatever you wanna call it! Anyway, that’s not important right now! What’s important is that you finally know how I feel!”

“I’m calling the police, David, you’re not well and I think you need help. Please just stay where you are!” Kevin shouted with as much confidence as he could muster.

David looked up at him for a moment, then to his left and right, eyeing up the whole street before turning his attention back to him. He had an expression, not sad, not even angry from what Kevin could see - he looked disappointed. David shrugged and dropped the knife with a clatter.

“Fuck this, you’re just like the others, always calling the police. Prick.” He said, and then launched into a brisk jog, striding down the street as if resuming an early morning run. As he disappeared from view, Kevin stood on his balcony, mouth slightly hanging open, phone pressed to his ear and the dial tone ringing out into the night.

From somewhere above him a voice called out.

“Close your fucking window, I’m trying to sleep! Who makes a call at this time of the morning?!”