it’s been one year.

the earth has circled the sun one time.

three-hundred and sixty five days without him.

thirty five million heartbeats.

i still am in shock.

in shock from how long it’s been.

in shock from how it’s not been long at all.

it felt like it all happened yesterday.

i haven’t cried once yet.

but i feel as if sorrow follows me.

they all ask me how i’ve been pushing through.

i spit out a lie, saying it’s tough.

but it’s not tough at all.

they ask how i feel,

about the cause still being not being identified.

i just sit there and shake my head.

they don’t know.

no one has caught onto me.

i have to hide a smile.

behind the blank stare,

is a heart without guilt.

it’s been one year.

the earth has circled the sun one time.

three-hundred and sixty five days without him.

thirty five million heartbeats.

since i murdered him.