Dear Mom
Dear mom,
I really hope youโre doing well.
I really hope you know
you put us kids through hell.
That first line is a lie
and I hope you can tell.
I donโt think you ever
really tried to get well.
I remember going door to
door to ask for food.
Do you not realize asking
a child to do that is fucking crude?
Cashing out the food stamps
just to snort your pills?
Signed me out of sophomore year
to โhelpโ you pay the fucking bills?
The lights are cut off again,
but hey, at least you got your thrills.
The twins are playing in their shit again.
Theyโve been up all night,
while you were steady snoring.
Kinda hard to stay awake when youโre zombified from those narcotics?
Honestly, I forgave you
before you really apologized.
If you arenโt sorry -
you donโt deserve mercy.
Thatโs a lesson that I have
learned from life.
If you were sorry,
youโd wake up and fucking see the light.
Or just keep lying to yourself
And later pay the price.
Itโd be nice for him to have a grandma.
6 years laterโฆ
I wonder if you even know his name.
I really hope that that thought
brings you immense shame.
Maybe having that pain
would be enough to
make you change.
I love you,
but I wonโt forgive you
until you try to do better.
If I do, Iโd be pretending,
and that wonโt make things better.
I know Iโll probably never send this letter.
But I needed to write it
down so I could heal better.
Thank you,
For nothing.
Nothing made me strong.