I have no choice you see,

My grandmother cursed me.

It was a huge mistake she didn’t mean to do,

When she put it on me it stuck like glue!

Grandmother has bad eyesight,

So she didn’t knit the spell right.

Instead of a self-warming cosy jumper,

Every Monday I’m suddenly wearing it even in summer!

I’ve tried every way I can to break the curse,

But somehow it makes it worse…

Take it off and it reappears as if by magic,

Wouldn’t be so bad if the colour scheme wasn’t tragic.

Cover it with a shawl or coats,

The offending garment unravels and the jumper gloats.

Little taller now and the sleeves don’t fit,

I only wish this heirloom didn’t itch!