I fell in love with you hard and fast

You were what I’d imagined for myself

The sound of your voice, your smirk, the way your body fit mine

Your ambition and your endless search for more

The way you seemed to melt at the sound of my voice

The way you almost cried when we first said goodbye

I fell in love with our videochats every day

With the silly little updates you would give me about your life

You made it feel like I was your bestest friend in the world

We’d fall asleep to the white noise from our phones

Communicating through selfies and sarcastic sentences

Waking up and going to sleep solely with the thought of you

Falling in love with the way I felt like you almost needed me

Like the difficult man opens himself up to me and only me

I must be special, I must be the one

He must be the one

Ignoring the subtle ways you called me boring or stupid

Smiling through hours then days of unanswered texts

Wanting so badly to be that cool, calm, collected girl I pride myself to be

Wanting so badly for you to just call or text or simply send an emoji

Savouring the short moments with you

Craving you for the rest of the day

Feeling angsty and miserable and not like myself at all

Not liking myself at all

Wanting more of you, wanting more from you

Breaking every time you ignore me, or interrupt me or don’t listen

Falling deeper and deeper into a dark void

Reaching up to you, begging you to grab my hands

You just watched

You could’ve saved me, you could’ve held me close to you

You didn’t have to let me go

But you did and I’m still falling

But the deeper I fall, the more clearly I see you

But the clearer I see you, the lighter I feel

The world around me opens up and I am able to see for the first time in a long time

There is more to life than you

There is more to life than me

I am falling and it has never felt more freeing

Falling farther and farther away from you

I can breath

I’m not watching what I say or how I act

I fall back into who I thought I was

My flaws are mine and only mine

Who are you to judge?

You who never stopped talking about yourself

You who criticized others for behaving like you

You who laughed at the sight of my tears

You who crawled your way into my heart and set camp there

You who sent me a kiss every night

You who texted me whenever anything good or bad happened

You who held my hand

Who stroked my hair

Who laughed in my ear

You who’s touch I yearn

Who’s interest I covet

I want you, I need you

And I can see why

I fell in love with you hard and fast