It was too silent…I didn’t even hear the birds singing this morning. After the internal explosion, there was nothing to be heard. The days following were even quieter. A day where my body could calm itself utterly terrified me. “Why allow it to go back to normal if something jurastic might occur?” I silently said to myself. So used to trauma and chaos, my body understood the rhythm of it…it was practically programmed for it. Days like these generated a nauseating knot that twisted in my stomach with each passing minute of calmness….they make the voices in my head multiply. The calmness forces me to look in the mirror at my reflection. It forces me to come face to face with myself. And that was something I NEVER wanted to do. I assume you are asking why, reason being is because I always felt the shadow lingering behind me. When I closed my eyes I felt its hands grip both of my shoulders, making sure I felt its presence. The fleeting moments where everything was “normal” for everyone else, was a horror story in my reality.