It’s the middle of November and I’m trudging through three feet of snow because, much to my dismay, bodies don’t just bury themselves.

No one ever cares about the clean up guy do they? Everyone’s always like, ‘oh no, someone’s dead!’ And no one’s ever like, ‘oh no, the clean up guy has so much work to do.’

My current client loves killing people on the worst ways. At least she pays instead of threatening me, but still! It’s always in the middle of a blizzard or a rainstorm or a fucking drought! Genuinely she told me to clean up her dirty work on the hottest day in 20 years in my country. And of course I’m expected to do it no matter what.

Usually I can just get away with burning the body but apparently she’s playing some sort of game with the victims father. A famous detective or something? And she wants me to help.

It’s not fair. I get paid minumum wage at the best of times and my life at the worst.

Finally I reach the random body lying in the forest and…

Oh god.

It’s cut up and multiple organs are removed. The eyes too have been removed.

This is sickening-there’s blood all over the snow! Now I have to move the body without making a trail of blood.

Of course she’d try her best to make my life awful. It’s like she hates me. Or finds it funny. Probably both.

I try to get the job done quick while avoiding bloodying my new clothes. Blood is hard to get out of fabric. Snow starts falling again and I flip off the universe. I’m definitely having a talk with my client.

Once I’m done I start to walk back through the thick forest.

Then I whirl around.

Wait was that my dad-