" Fuck! " I cried out. “Fuck!” Fuck.

I don't know who I was yelling to; the pines merely rustled in response.

I laughed. Go out for a paddle, I thought. Get out into nature on this crisp autumn morning, I had told myself.

And here I was, desperately paddling down a river, pursued by a huge brown bear.

Too busy admiring the rich autumn hues, I had failed to notice the strong animal at the side of the river. But it had noticed me.

And now I was fucked.

The river widened, becoming shallow. The bear hastened. at least it was an eventful way to go, I chuckled to myself morbidly.

A split second decision. I paddled quickly, hurtling myself down a steep bank towards an offshoot of the river. Spray hit my face, as I joined the swirling rapids. I looked back at the bear, who snarled exasperatedly, and turned around.

“Fuck,” I laughed to myself. it would certainly be a good story for the lads at the pub later.