Nothing changed. The awakening never happened. I’m still me. Unhappy, confused, desperate for direction. I’ve wanted this for so so long. Completely certain life would be better the second I got pregnant. Now what? I don’t know if I want this. Does he want this? I don’t know anymore. Maybe when I see them? My child, a part of me, or maybe I’ll be horrified that who I am will now reside in someone else.