The way be looks at me. Those eyes the cross mine know something. That disgusting chilling smile of an old man is something we all know. My mind keeps fixating on the little camera in Noel’s old desk. I got struck with packing it up after she had a psychotic break and quit on the spot. A camera makes sense for him. Disgusting but true. I can’t let go of the clawing feeling in me that I personally ...

It won’t feel genuine to her, but I want it to. She’ll say it’s a lie, or our mum is responsible for this apology. She had no right telling me to though. It doesn’t matter anymore, none of it matters. She deserves to know I love her. I want her to feel it, see it, smell my perfume when I embace her.

You deserved my yelling, my anger, my rants. You weren’t there for me when I needed you most...

Nothing changed. The awakening never happened. I’m still me. Unhappy, confused, desperate for direction. I’ve wanted this for so so long. Completely certain life would be better the second I got pregnant. Now what? I don’t know if I want this. Does he want this? I don’t know anymore. Maybe when I see them? My child, a part of me, or maybe I’ll be horrified that who I am will now reside in someone ...

Everyday I sit next to what I want to be. They’re bright and lively. Thriving despite the less than optimal conditions “our” parent provides. Shes’s theirs too. They are green, I am, what, grey, a little sad, pale green mixed in. My color fades everyday. They may be able to die but they can thrive too. I reach for the light too. I may not need it but I want it. Just to be like them.

My real...

My fingers are starting to freeze. The suffering is my indecisive nature. My body feels like its chilled through about to reach my core. And yet, there’s nothing I’d rather do less than having to make the choice to open my door. Except making the decision to walk away. Telling my mother her suspicions were correct. I don’t know what I know, but I know she cant be trusted. Could the text be from he...

You are Maria Young, you are a writer, poet and an unshakable force

You are Maria Young, you are a writer, a force to be reckoned with

You are Maria, a writer…

It’s not done. It’s not done.

Focus

You know this

Tell your story

Say it

Write it

There’s not enough time

My mind is gone

Focus

It’s done

Is it?

It’s done

You’re done

Done what?...

The part of me that is “good” is disturbed. The disturbed part of me is horrifically thrilled. Howard is a man of mystery. What he does with his time is unbeknownst to all. He’s the outcast in the neighborhood. This year he’s seems to be more than just a weirdo. Has he taken it to the next level? Or is he deranged enough to share his pastimes with the world? The deepest parts of me, small little b...

“She-she’s gone Leah”

My brain starts to spiral. It tries to make sense of how someone can be and then, just, not. I sit down quietly, then stand. I start to pace. I want to hide in this moment. To not have to move forward. Time freezes and I want it to stay that way. I want to go to her house. Drag her out of her room like I’ve always had to do. Maybe I should’ve tried harder, picked up on ...

Mia’s hair was the first sight that I could call absolutely breathtaking. The luscious curls that could shine on the gloomiest days. She has so much light emanating from every inch of her body and soul.

I walk into the hallway leading to her door. Today’s our wedding. The union of our souls, our very existence. The frivolous extras of cake and partying means nothing to me. I am happy to do so...

I’ve always read that true happiness comes from within. I don’t think those people have ever really lived. Positive thinking can’t overcome everything. The negative still lives, and it certainly will not let you forget it.

My personal hell starts at 7:30 in the morning, 5 days a week. That’s not including overtime. My boss works me like a dog all for nothing. I’m meeting him this afternoon for...