No. No. No,no,no,no,no! NO! NOOOO!

You can’t make me go!

You! Can’t! Make! Me! Gooo!

“Oh my god, Lena, stop being so dramatic, it’s okay,” Ainsley says, dragging my thrashing body away from the entrance to the ride. “You don’t hafta come with us, y’know. You can join us later, like usual.”

I hadn’t realised I’d said all that out loud.

‘Get. Yourself. To-ge-ther!’ I screamed to me. Me, it would seem, did not like all my yelling, I screamed back:

‘I am being *perfectly* rational, Lena! It’s a friggin’ 80-foot drop, for crying out loud! *You’re* the one who needs to pull yourself together. I can’t believe you actually agreed to go on a crazy amusement park ride. You *know* you hate those!’

‘Yeah, well, I’m sick and tired of my friends always going off and leaving me alone at parks. For once I wanna join them! Make some memories, you know?’

‘Oh, you’ll make some memories, all right. When you end up in the hospital-‘

“Lena! Stop talking- er, thinking, to yourself, you can do this!” Ainsley puts her hands on my shoulders, shaking me. “I. Believe. In. You!”

“I don’t.” Carter says, pulling off a fragment of cotton candy from the huge sugary cloud he holds in his hands.

“Okay, first of all, Carter, not helping! This is a very momentous day for Lena, she’s facing her fears! You *know* how scared she is of hights. Remember last year? She was practically having a seizure, she was shaking so much.”

“Oh, yeah! I ‘member. She was screaming and crying.”

“Okay, you guys-“ I start, embarrassed. They don’t appear to hear me.

“Yeah. And when she said she wanted to go to that gathering, I was all like, ‘You sure, Lena?’ And she said, ‘Yeah, I’m sure!’ an’ then we get there, and she wouldn’t even go in!”

“Introverts,” Carter snickers.

“Really,” Ainsley says, then turns back to me and smiles, “‘Kay, you sure you wanna do this, Lena? Like I said, you don’t hafta.”

“I am choosing to ignore that comment, Carter. Yes, Ainsley, I want to do this.”

Oh, no. What have I done?

“You sure, sure?” Ainsley’s trying her best to hide it, but I can tell she’s ecstatic I’m trying something new.

Okay. Okay, Lena, you can do this.

“Yep. Positive!”

“Right! Okay! Yay! This’ll be so much fun! Carter, stop eating that, food isn’t allowed on the rides, you know this.”

Carter shrugs and sets off to find a trash can. I size up the terrible tower of doom- sorry, I mean the giant set of swings. The oh-so fun ride, where you spin ‘round and ‘round till you feel so dizzy and disoriented you think your head’ll fall off. Maybe we should check out the coasters instead! The one where it starts off slow, painstakingly going upward, like climbing up a mountain, till you reach the summit, and then you pummel down, and the adrenaline is kicking you right in the heart, and then you find yourself upside down and-

No, Lena! You’ll be fine! And if you’re not, you’ll have the perfect excuse to never leave your house again!

Carter runs back to us, wiping his sticky hands on his jeans, “Alright! Lena, I swear you’re gonna ha- I mean, love this ride. The swings only go so far, so it’s great for amateurs.”

I start laughing hysterically. Ainsley grabs us and pulls us into the line. Aaaand, right about then is when my panic alarms set off.

Well, set off again, if I’m being honest.

No! No! No! Leeeeeennnnnaaaaaaa! Be smart! Don’t do this! Please! Pleaseeeeeeee!

“You guys going on the ride together?” asks the Bringer of Death, also known as the ride operator.

How’d the line move so fast?!? How are we here already?!? I’m not prepared for this!

“Yessir,” Ainsley calls to him, already moving past the opening gates.

“Ainsley! Carter! No! I change my mind!”

“Too late. C’mon, Lena, you can do this, ‘n all that.” Carter takes lead and we find our seat.

“If we die, I am blaming all of this on you! All of it!” I shriek.

“Whatever you say, Lena.” Ainsley claps her hands in excitement.

“Well, you couldn’t, could you, Lena? You’d be dead.” Carter rests his hands behind his head.

———————————————————————

“Soooooo…” Ainsley nudges me, “What did you think?”

I don’t answer, preoccupied with trying to ease my clanging nerves.

“She loved it, can’t you tell?” Carter, somehow, has obtained more cotton candy, despite us just getting off the ride. “Wanna go on the roller coaster next?”

“No! Absolutely not! I object to this torture! I promise, I’ll live out my days, content to wait at the entryway of rides for you guys! Just, never again!”

“Well, maybe-“

“No! I was on the precipice of eternal darkness the entire time!”

“Yeah, you almost fainted, didn’t you?” Carter offers me a piece of cotton candy. I decline, my stomach way too uneasy.

“But, wasn’t it worth it, facing your fears?” Ainsley steals the package of cotton candy from Carter.

Ha. That’s funny. “I mean, I guess, but never again.”

(Sorry, this is kind of long.)