I don’t understand how it still creeps upon me, not thought of and unrealized. Until I’m face to face with it but I don’t know if I’m the only one who has spotted it, and I don’t want to make a scene or it will afflict everyone. I do my best to ignore it, knowing this is an un-winnable battle of resistance. Then as I drive down a desert highway away from everyone who has loved, hated, hurt, and healed me. I cry. Heavy tears accompanied with animalistic yells fill the inside of my car. As I drive further towards numbness, where the days bleed into one another so heavily you often let food spoil because you “thought you had only took the chicken out to defrost this morning” the emotions fade. Now when asked how I’m so level headed or why I’m so quite? I will tell them because that is how a man should conduct himself or that the Bible tells us to be slow to speak and although these are truths, thee truth is that I simply do not have any connection or investment and interest here to give you any more then I already do.