I zipped up the case silently, not wanting to wake him. It would hurt massively to leave him, I knew.

The last time was bad enough; he wouldn’t speak to me for a month and refused any explanation I gave him. A big fight; I desperately promised it would be our last. Stupid of me to make a promise I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep. The text came a day later, when I was getting groceries. “You are required for presentation. You know where. Same time and place. One month. ~ The Captaincy.

I couldn’t help it. The Captaincy needed me, and my first flight left in fifteen minutes. I had to go, no matter what.

He looked so pure, in the slant of moonlight that covered his face. Snoring lightly, I knew it it wouldn’t be long before he got up. He’d wake up, roll over, and his arm would caress over a deserted bedsheet, whilst I’d be far away from our cosy London cottage to the unknown streets of Manhattan, New York.

I could never tell him, ever. It was part of my recruitment, my oath, my bond. Only my mother knew, when a scout beckoned us over after my last gymnastics class six years ago. She’d be my sole guardian at my ‘new’ classes, claiming to my dad that I had been invited to a birthday party or a concert, for longer absences. He didn’t know any better, and didn’t, when they divorced.

Now, at twenty years old, I was highly trained, and being one of the most used recruits, it came with costs.

My mother was killed, shot down in a hit and run. She herself wasn’t involved, but tried to help the victim out of the wreckage. Mr. Ytovsky, he saw her as a sitting duck, being a do-gooder, as always.

Bang. Window rolled halfway down, he drove off. No mercy for an innocent woman.

And now he would get none from one.

My hands balled into fists, I breathed slowly, in and out, to let them go. I couldn’t travel with tension; it would make things worse on the flight.

Lightly laying my fingers up and down the bedsheet, I looked back at my boyfriend Dylan. I had to say goodbye, I didn’t know if this one would be the last. Kissing him lightly on the forehead, as if he were a child, I lifted up my case silently, creeping down the stairs and jumping lightly over the creaky floorboard, I shut the door.

Blaring headlights blinded me temporarily as I stepped up to the taxi.

“Airport, miss?” The driver whispered confidentially.

I nodded as confirmation, stepped into the backseat, and we drove away.

I didn’t look back, but a tear gliding effortlessly down my cheek reminded me of what I had left behind.