“Soulmates are a fairytale

To make everyone feel special

That means no one is left out

because there is a person out there

Specifically fated to you

But not everyone does

And that’s all it is for me

Just a fairytale

An unreachable standard

Made to make me feel bad

Love is the lie that keeps us alive

Except it’s the truth for many

And that’s what hurts the most

That it is reality for others

But not written in my story.”

Amelie finishes reading her poem. Her English class just stares, awkward silence taking over.

Bell claps enthusiastically, the rest join in lowly because they have to, but Amelie beams at her friend.

“Thank you, Amelie, for your _unique_ expression,” Mrs. Britol hestitantly says. Amelie knows that her teacher finds her weird. Mrs. Britol has been married to her soulmate for two decades, so she just doesn’t understand Amelie’s pain.

Amelie sits down, happy with her poem. It made people uncomfortable. Good.

Bell leans over and whispers, “That was great!”

“Thanks! How do you think Mrs. Britol will grade it?” As she asks that question, she winces just thinking about her mark.

“I think that you followed the assignment, and if she is being fair like she should be, she has to give you a good grade. You earned it.”

When Bell first invited Amelie to sit with her friends at lunch, she didn’t know what to think. She never really had friends before, and she knew some of Bell’s friends thought she was strange. Yet they came off as welcoming to her anyway. Or at least not mean. Hey, she’ll take what she can get.

It almost is like she’s normal. It felt good to have people to talk to and look forward to things like lunch or in between classes.

Bell has always been nice to her, defending her to others. Cross is so laidback that nothing seems to faze him. Lou and Jeremiah are so happy and optimistic that you can’t help but like them. Marta has seemingly made it their mission to make Amelie feel ok and the least awkward as is possible which she greatly appreciates.

Roman was a little standoffish at first. Maybe a bit skeptical, but they have a tentative friendship now. With their not so positive views on soulmates (even though he has his), they have more in common than they thought.

The bell rings which saves everyone from lingering on her poem.

“So whatcha doing later?” Bell asks as they gather their stuff and go to their next classes.

“Later as in study hall?”

“I meant after school. I was wondering if you wanted to hang out.” Bell acted as though this is so casual. Like that is not out of the ordinary.

“Is everyone else busy?” She can’t help but feel suspicious. No one has ever asked her to hang out. Everyone was scared of her made up mind powers. Though that probably wasn’t the only reason people didn’t hang out with her, especially since now more people know about her lack of a soulmate.

“No, I just want to get to know you better,” she responds innocently.

Amelie shrugs, “Sure.” It isn’t like she has anything else to do. It’ll be…nice to be with a friend.

“Perfect! Meet me in the front of the school later and then we can walk to my house.”

OoOoO

“So what’s you favorite color?”

Amelie is sitting on Bell’s bedroom floor, and Bell hangs off her bed.

“Grey.”

Bell sits upright and joins her on the floor. “Really? That’s cool. I’ve never heard that one before. Mine’s blue. But like an icy blue, not royal blue,” she rambles. Amelie internally laughs since it is nice that she is truly trying not to make her feel weird.

“Yeah, I like that grey is the in between. Like the world can try to make you choose between dark and light, but grey is that middle that no one remembers,” she explains, her justification going beyond just the hue now.

Seeing how intent Bell is on what Amelie is saying, she now gets a bit sheepish. “Sorry I didn’t mean to go all serious about a simple question.”

“No I like hearing about it,” Bell insists, smiling. One of those genuine smiles, not those fake ones that most people wear. Amelie would know.

“Can I ask a question?” She’s new at this whole friend thing so she feels like she should ask.

“Of course.”

“Why are you keeping your powers a secret? You and Cross obviously like each other and everyone already thought you would end up as a couple, so why the secrecy?” Amelie can’t help but be curious. Now that they are friends, maybe she can ask.

“We didn’t know. We had no idea we were soulmates. Cross and I want to figure out why we never knew before we tell anyone.”

“What do you mean?”

“We were both told we were born without powers, but that can’t have been true. Cross thinks my mom might have something to do with it. She has telepathic powers.“

“Oh, not what I expected,” Amelie says, not really knowing what to say. That’s certainly different than anything she thought. The furthest she imagined was that they didn’t want the attention or gossip at school. Not that they thought their parents could have manipulated with their minds.

“That must have been overwhelming. To live your entire like one way, and then everything changes,” she continues.

Bell contemplates Amelie’s words before nodding. “It is. I don’t know how to act around anyone, especially my mom.”

“I’m no expert but maybe letting your friends know would lift some of that weight?” Her advice comes out as a question, filled with doubt. She’s not used to talking to people. People aren’t usually vulnerable with her.

A cheery text tone goes off, diverting both of their attentions to Bell’s phone.

“It’s Cross. He’s asking what I’m up to.”

She can tell that Bell is nervous. Her tell is biting her lip which she is doing right now. “Do you want to tell your friends?”

The answer comes immediately, “Yes. I hate lying. And I want to share my soulmate with them.”

Amelie can’t imagine having a soulmate. She’s pretended to have one for most of her life, never to experience that. But she imagines that finding out you have one and not sharing it has to be tough.

“But I’m afraid things will change. We’ve always been Bell and Cross. The perfect not-soulmates. But we are now. What if it’s different? Is that stupid?” Bell divulges, eyes downcast, maybe in insecurity or worry.

Setting her hand on her arm, Amelie tries to offer some comfort.

“Bell, you should tell Cross how you feel. He can’t know what you don’t tell him. I have a feeling that you know that he’ll understand.” Bell nods, agreeing with what Amelie is saying.

There is more to say though. Amelie has gone through her whole life without someone to share thoughts and feelings. It feels comfortable and right to express some now. “But it’s not stupid to feel like this. I know a thing or two about being afraid of your own emotions. People always say that you can’t control how others feel or react, but when you can’t even regulate your own, it feels like your drowning.”

“With no life preserver in sight,” Bell finishes for her.

“So tell Cross. And then tell your friends because it’s what you want to do,” she implores. She knows what it’s like to hold in something. Something that stews inside you that makes you bitter the longer you withhold.

Bell launches from her seat and wraps her arms around Amelie tightly, almost cutting off her airway.

“Thank you, Amelie. I don’t think I could’ve told that to anyone else. You’re a good friend.”