I didn’t know he’d go all crazy My own boyfriend Dragging me Down Down Down Into his cold basement Letting my head hit the stairs My hands are tied Binded by the rough rope, Rope Rope Rope He tells me I am his. But I am not I will not let him have me But I can make him think Think that I am his Think that I have fallen in love But how can I? My mouth has a sock in it I cannot speak I cannot move He walks down the stairs Tells me that he loves me But how could he love me He hurt me He takes the gag out So I can eat But I cannot eat I wouldn’t be able to keep it down Months go by with more progress, He lets me watch tv Sitting on his lap And play on his phone, The news has stopped talking about me Missing woman Probably never to be found again The thought scares me How can it not? He thinks I am in love, He cut my hair a dyed it black My beautiful natural blonde gone Down the drain He takes me out Out Out Out Yes I am out, Outside In the light It’s blinding After months of darkness He’s taking me to park, dragging me along, How can I make someone see me Pay attention to me Call the police We walk around the park for hours He whispered in my ear “See no one cares that your gone, I am your only love” He has to go pee Let’s me wait outside As soon as he is gone I run up to a woman “Please help I’ve been kidnapped,” She calls the police but I go back to my spot Can’t let him see Can’t let him know Sirens Sirens Sirens Off in the distance Sirens Sirens Sirens Getting closer Closer as we walk He grabs my waist Pinning me to his body I watch as the run up to him I finally free myself from his grasp The handcuffs look painful As they duck his head into the car He loved me But I didn’t love him Love is a lie that keeps us alive

“I’m proud of you” hurts more than your silence.

Your smiles weave lies together like second nature. And if I said a word, your screams would echo down the hallways..

The hall where your gaze is sharper than knives.

And you watch my every move like you watch you’re phone scroll away…

Love is the lie that is keeping us alive.

A lie your smiles decorated with your emboidery that I painted with the paint that uncovered the truth…

the truth which we both can’t survive with.

so we lie

while smiles cross our faces,

we lie and lie and lie and lie and lie.

Love is the lie that keeps us alive And the very thought of you not loving me, Was paralyzing not so long ago… Thinking back… oh how I begged you, Hot, salty tears seemed to stain my face for days

And you, hundreds of miles away Tucked away in your bunk… rolling on 18 wheels Further and further away from us you drive No responsibility, no one to answer to, no one to hold you accountable or responsible- For the damage you’ve done, yet again

But as I always have, I cleaned up your trash It’s difficult to convey how my heart ached for you And, quite the expense for something so sacred freely given to a man like you… The embodiment of Peter Pan

“A man like me??” I can hear you say with an arrogance only you are capable of… Yes, a man like you… with a wondering eye, and a mouth full of lies Yes, a man like you… who believes himself to be some asphalt cowboy now. Yes, a man like you… who lacks integrity, and runs from responsibility. Yes, a man like you… who abandons his wife and children. Yes, a man like you… who finds fault in everyone around him, but unable to see how ugly his own heart is. And yes, I could go on….

I often wonder what it is you see when you look at yourself in the mirror. Do you recognize yourself? Or do you want to shatter the glass because the man staring back at you is nothing more but a ghost of the man you thought you were?

There was a time when I believed I couldn’t live without you… And how I hung on to every breath you took… You were my epitome of perfection… Even then, I was blind to your obvious infidelities And deaf to your secrets, screaming into my ears But I see you now…

You my love… Were a mean spirited trick, played on me like when I was a child- You my love… Were nothing more but smoke and mirrors- You my love… Were always a liar- Always a cheat… Always a coward… Always a quitter… Always a runner… And never a real man…

I can pick up the pieces of my heart and time will heal the parts of me you broke. How do you pick up regret though? I can’t imagine that one can. I suppose it’s something that must be carried It’s a shame you’ve got a bad back Regret can feel pretty heavy, that’s what I’ve heard anyway…

Love is the lie That keeps us alive It keeps us on going And fighting each day

We’re stronger When we believe it Then you know it is there If you just hold on tight

Even at the lowest And darkest of times Just the thought of a love Can bring you to the light

Not even a deep love Or strong hold too tight Just a small little feather That floats on just right

A piece to hold on to To keep growing stronger A promise of always That there is still something

Love is the lie That keeps us alive It keeps us on going And fighting each day

Natural selection was never my forte, I was happy drifting in shadows, Going through life, unnoticed—till you came.

Your love was intoxicating, A light so fierce I couldn’t look away. You didn’t just save my life—you changed it.

And of all the myths we choose to believe in, One feels unshakably true: Love is the lie that keeps us alive.

I found out that love is a drug Now I need to look for a plug I found out that love is a drug Now I need to look for a plug Oh I found out that love is a drug Now I need to look for a plug I met her in the club Time to get close I found out that love is a drug Now I need to look for a plug Throw my heart under the rug I got too close I got too close Heartbreak heartbreak Just another heartbreak Will it ever change Who knows 🤷🏽‍♂️ The devils knocking at my front door Ima let him Bad habits ima let him in too Balling hard like a lettermen You got me intoxicated all the things that you do It’s never knew All this bad news Yeah I care about your heart You should too You be tearing me apart Like you do And I told you from the very beginning I love you Love Love Oh oh I found out that love is a drug I need to look for a plug Use my heart as a rug Got to know oh Everybody knows Dre just can’t let go Even she knows She even said so Oh no Laid up in a casket thought it was your mattress We made love then you made me die Telling me you love me Girl even the blind can see that was a lie I still fell for it because I thought you were mine I fell for your lies because I thought you were keeping me alive You gave me your heart and I didn’t know it was plastic Fake Everything goes back to k-A-Z Next thing you know you hurt me The next part you hurt me You really got my stomach turning Stabbed me in the back But my chest is were it’s burning Can feel it in my chest no beating It’s the middle of the night now I’m slurring Oh oh I found out that love is a drug Now I need to look for a plug I met her in the club She threw my heart under the rug she threw me in front of the bus I got too close

Love is the lie that keeps us alive.

It is not beauty born to the tongue that speaks it.

It is not grace nor ease for those who invite it.

Love does not whisper with the subtlety of the wind, to kindly make its presence known.

It is not ubiquitous, as so often described, not many are even born from it.

It is not warm hands that keep away the cold waters of the Styx.

It sits quite nicely in the optimistic eye, but unseen is an insidious side.

It wears the alluring colors of specious fruits with bitter hearts.

Much sin has followed such a taste, for memory lane recalls too many a name.

A little drop may ease the pain but overindulgence is its game.

Love is the lie that keeps us alive…

My dreams fell short in the dark Sinkable, broken, lost I reach for you every day but I catch air I would catch you and we would be together And I would be with you.

I imagine me and and you making Surgar cookies together and watching Migrating birds fly over the land Their shadows would reign on us I would be with you

In a thunderstorm, you would hold on To me and never let go ‘till I wasn’t scared You would watch me take my first steps In life and pick me up if I fell down And I would be with you

You would cry as I headed off to first grade You would laugh when I jumped into your arms You would tell me fairy tales stories and You would laugh when I changed all the names I would be with you

I might have had a younger sister or brother And Abbey would be happy Maybe me and her would beg for a puppy A puppy Abbey would call Carolina And we would be with you

I would see the world as a fairy tale. Just me, you, Abbey, and “Daddy.” But sadly, I was quick to discover The world was not at all fairy tale We can’t be with you.

The fairy tale we should have had was ruined No more changing the names of the people we love But I remember. Without your life being lost Millie and Corbin would never be born and Andi wouldn’t know Abbey But now I can be with them

So thank you. Thank you Sheri Thank you for giving me a purpose I now have a fairy tale of my own Maybe not the one I wanted But I will be with you

Forever

Love is the lie that keeps us alive.

So maybe I haven't been living.

All my poems are repetitive.

I'm not like other writers with beautiful vocabulary that makes people swoon.

My poems have no rhythm.

They're jarring, just like my emotions.

They're chaotic, lacking a singular focus.

How do I explain in poetic terms how I miss you?

Do I say that your melodic laugh danced across my ears like birds singing in the warm embrace of spring?

I've never been in love.

I repeat that in multiple poems, in those exact words.

I've told you all time and time again that I've never been in love because truthfully, I wouldn't know if I was.

My own heart is a mystery even to myself, and I don't have the will to play detective.

Maybe one day my poems won't be depressing.

Maybe my words will flow smoothly.

Maybe I won't be some teen boy laying in his bedroom, wondering why exactly he exists.

Maybe I'll make it to 18.

Maybe I'll make it out of here.

i had a friend once.. she claimed to know the truth about justin beiber .. pretending to be a fan. it was the same ever time. time after time. “have you heard the new jb song.” she would scream, “ it’s my #fav 🤣🤣” she would laugh. i don’t know why she laughed.. that’s what fake fans do the fakest of the fans . she would even pick julien baker as the best jb sometimes. one day i realised she was a fake.. she told me you are a fake fan!!!! and that was the moment. i had nothing to say but all i could say was “love is the lie that keeps us alive.” her love for justin beiber was fake as the fakest fake.