i think i just met the happiest person in the world!!

she is the complete opposite of me. hair that shines instead of getting greasy after one day, a perfect button nose, flawless hourglass figrue and a forehead that isnt the first thing that people notice about here.

but she wasnt only happy because of her looks. she had the perfect life. she is type of girl that makes me crazy. 

her boyfriend treats her like nobody else in the world matters. getting her flowers weekly, taking her on dinner dates almost every weekend, and shows her off like a shiny trophy. something every girl wants, but only some can have.

she is the most emotionally stable person youll meet, and knows how to keep her cool. above all, she knows her worth. yet another thing onlt a select few girls are able to do. she doesnt put up with anybodys shit, and isnt afraid to walk away if somebody does her wrong. me on the other hand, i dont know how to leave. im too scared. too scared to be on my own, too scared to not be loved by anyone. i would rather stay in a relationship in which i feel like shit than be alone.

there isnt a single person on earth who hates her. her smile lights up a room and there is always a spotlight on her. she is the highlight of everyones day, and does no wrong. she is smart, calm, and collected everything every man dreams of. every boy wants her. but only one can have her. and he has her. and he is proud of her. not ashamed like some men are of their girlfriends, no. he cherishes her and makes sure she knows how lucky he is to have her. because he is lucky. the luckiest boy in the world. he knows how lucky he is to have the happiest girl in the world, which makes him the happiest boy in the world. 

she knows no pain. she has never had to grieve the loss of someone who is still alive, because nobody wants to lose her in the first place. she has never had to stare at words being said to her through a screen thar cut her heart piece by piece, because nobody has anything mean to say about her. 

i resent her for her perfectness. i hate the way she looks at me. looking at me like shes better than me, but who can blame her? she is better than me. there is nothing i can do except watch her life through pictures on social media and wish, pray every night that i was her. 

i hate the way she walks the halls at school. like she owns them. but technically, she does. there is not one person who sees her and resents her for simply existing.

except me. and i always will. i will hate her for having the life i want, and having all the things that i cant.

see i used to be happy. but for anyone but her, it never lasts. happiness sticks around for a while, until it grows legs and walks away, leaving you with a heavy heart and feelings you cant explain.

i know for a fact that everyone can relate to me. we all know the feeling of having something so damn important ripped out of your hands before you can think twice, all of us except her. her. her. her.

i hate her. i hate me. i hate the people who hate me. i hate everything. i have everyone. maybe thats why im so unhappy, because my heart is filled with so much hatred and resentment for the things around me that i forget to appreciate.

i apprecite my eyes. the deep hazel-brown that looks like caramel when the sun hits them the right way.

i appreciate my empathy. the way i love people unconditionally because i know they need it, even if they dont deserve it.

i appreciate my selfless ness. the way i am always going out of my way for others, even if they arent always grateful.

i appreciate my inner child, the way i still love childish things even though some people may find it weird, i think it makes my heart pure.

i think i change my answer. i am the happiest person in the world.

even though my life isnt perfect. even though i have flaws. even though i have been through things that some people may say are indescribable.

writing this has taught me to appreciate myself for who i am, and embrace it.

i dont hate her anymore, i love her. i still think she is beautiful and kind, but i no longer resent her for it.