When you’re kidnapped by a moron, the first thing to do, is not to yell or to scream, but to look them straight through.

Make them feel your eyes, blazing brown daggers, and do not relent, lest their plans shred to tatters.

For they believe themself strong, of sound mind and brute strength, but your fingers break bonds and stretch out in length.

You watch as they walk, with large knives and red apron. They believe themself god, death’s bloody patron.

So, when he reaches the blade, towards your throat and your eyes, you throw forth your arms, and now he’s surprised.

For when the metal meets their flesh, when the hot crimson runs free, you break from your cage, needing no key.

You walk to the door, haste not required, and make your way to your home, exhausted and tired.

So, when you’re kidnapped by a moron, the last thing to do, is get home, get rest, and take off your shoe.