Look, I’m not going to lie… I wish I was Donald Trump. I mean, I could be a legitimate cultural icon. I basically want to be him, but like… not an evil version of him. I want to be The Apprentice Donald Trump, but you know… less creepy and more respectful toward women. It would be really cool to be president and be able to enact my vision of a better country. I don’t want to “Make America Great Again,” because it’s always had its issues… in fact I’m not sure I want the stress. Maybe I could be a business man like Trump, except I wouldn’t run every business into the ground and I would try to pay people well and with the dignity they deserve. Come to think of it, I don’t think I want to be Donald Trump at all. I think I just want some money.