The wind blows my hair. I’m standing in the edge again. I look down. I see the vast openness drop down from the cliff. I would what it would be like. The jump. The wind on my body. The rush of adrenaline. The pain of impact. The peace of floating away. Of leaving this world and facing whatever comes next. I’ve wondered it for a while now.

But every time, when I’m about to let go, I remember. I remember her. I remember my friends. I remember my parents, my family. I remember all the people who care about me. I can’t bring myself to put them through that. I turn away.

One more day.

One more day.

Slowly, it started becoming two more days, three, four.

One more week.

One more month.

You can make it the rest of the year.

The bad days started off frequent and harsh, but slowly, even they started to become few and far between.

Sometimes I look back, I remeber those days. Standing in the edge. I remember how close I was to falling. And how glad I am that I turned away.

author’s note- this is not written from personal experience