I’ve never been so disappointed in my life. I flew fourteen hours by myself to the Greek isles, and it is not living up to my expectations at all. I mean, a countryside villa, amazing. The food, incredible. The views, my god… just sublime. But Mamma Mia was a complete lie. Literally no one will sing ABBA songs with me in public.

First I tried Voulez-Vous in the town square shortly after I arrived. As I wildly swung my arms back and forth to the “Ha Ha!” People stared at me with utter confusion. The next morning during brunch, I stood up on the chair and started belting out the chorus to Super Trouper. The manager dragged me out before I could finish my yogurt. I even tried singing Money, Money, Money in a shop, and the keeper begged me to leave. All I want is for someone to Take a Chance on Me for once.

They say life imitates art, but I’m not so sure that’s the case.