Hi it's me Joan. I wanted to share my story about this guy i met online. But before that, let me tell you something about myself.

I'm 27 years old, living alone with cats actually. You can say I'm very independent. I am that type of a person who doesn't listen to what other says, in short... stubborn! which I think is a no-no for other people, I care less anyway. What else? I got this awesome walls I built just to protect myself from assholes who only wanna destroy my peace and break my heart. well.... I HATE MEN. I thought so.

I used to work in a company as a manager but I resigned couple years ago. Why? Just because... I'm not happy anymore and that I wanna do something that is somehow different. Which brings me into streaming. I joined this application where I sing, I entertain people, I do podcasting and many more. Honestly, It's what I love doing and I'm really invested in it like I couldn't live a day without it.

Sure, i get to know a lot random people from different countries, diverse attitudes, personalities and different mindset. There's a lot to choose from these guys If I wanted to, but I'm not really looking. Im not ready yet. Multiple heartbreaks that makes it hard for me to trust again, love again or even try again. Sucks! I know.

Well, still there are times that my heart flatters but I immediately shut it down. Because I am freaking scared as hell. Like, if I allow someone again in my life, It's gonna be the same thing over and over and .... shit! no in the hell way I'm gonna let it happen again where I would go crying and drinking and sulking. NO NO NO WAY.

There's a lot of people watching my stream day by day. I do notice everybody even if I dont say it, I notice them without them knowing. I'm just kinda shy to say hi to everyone just because some of them don't comment. Just there watching, not typing, just enjoying the music and the singing.

But then .... fate just love to test me so bad I'm so frustrated! When I told myself I'm not ready yet, it's like as if God's listening and making fun of me and putting me in a situation to test me? Ugh.

Then he made sure I met this guy.

Through Online. From my stream.

Yeah..... I know..... from my stream.....

One particular guy caught my attention. He goes by the name X. The mysterious person. He's the death of me. He's the human embodiment of curioisity. He's been a watcher for years now, and I haven't read a single comment from him. Which I find odd. At first... but things changed after that one confusing comment..

And he got my attention. Just like that..

I woke up early morning really hungry. I got up and cooked some food while scrolling around this oh-so-called BIGO application where i do my livestreaming. I’ve put my phone down and I sat and chewed on my bacon and fried rice while enjoying the music playing on my Television. After a couple of minutes, I decided to go live. Well, it's because I can't go to sleep right away plus, I got nothing to do anyways.

I've put on sleeping clothes, tied my hair up and put a little bit of make up and went live.

Everyone was coming in and saying "good morning" "you look awesome" "You're pretty" "Hi, gorgeous". But one comment stood out the most. He really did typed "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH" As if he finds what's going on hilarious. I ignored it and continued with my live but I couldn't shake that out of my head. It got me so confused as to why he commented that.

But i went on for hours. Switching from talking and singing. It was really fun hanging out with my friends and random people. I get to learn new stuff day by day. It gives me that overwhelming feeling though it’s crazy. Like I don’t know them but I’m having fun joking and bullying them like It’s a normal thing to do.

After my stream, I went to shower to relax.

…..I was soooo curious.

“Who is he?”

“what's his name?”

“Where is he located?”

“What does he think about me?”

Is he a basher, a bully or what?

“Do i look funny earlier?”

It took me minutes thinking about that guy.

But I decided to ignore him….

The water was dripping all over my body, my eyes closed, and my mind was imagining how It would feel like to have someone take care of you, cook for you and love you, caress you….. It felt like I was getting on that part where I'm tired of being alone.

I stayed in the bathroom for almost an hour. After that, i went to prepare for my food and my cat’s food and picked up my phone, opened the application, and scrolled through random messages to kill some time.

Out of nowhere a message popped out coming from that guy named "X". I was shocked and nervous at the same time. In my mind, why would this person message me? I thought he disliked me or finds me funny.

I opened it and saw that he commented on my video "HAHAHAHA" Again. Right. AGAIN!

I responded to him and asked him "why are you laughing?"

X: because you're funny

Me: What about your comment on my stream? You crazy or somethin'?

X: Sorry if i offended you, but my laugh was meant towards those guys. THEY are funny not you.

I suddenly remembered those comments from my live and I smirked.

Yeah….

I remembered someone said "You look pretty can i meet you?" " You're perfect to be my wife" I LAUGHED at it realizing how it sounded so desperate. and i get why he was laughing.

Me: Oh! Just realized. Hahaha. Sorry. i just thought….

X : Right? Anyways, get some food and sleep, you looked so tired and exhausted from that eight-hour stream. I shouldn’t be messaging you this late. Talk to you tomorrow.

I thought he's so sweet and caring. there’s something about him. I was so curious like I’ve never before.

I spent the rest of my night thinking about him. Picturing him through my mind, creating that image based on how he chatted me.I had this persona I built of him… as sweet, caring, and gentle. For me, he sounded well-educated. Very smart. Composed and sincere.

Couple of hours had passed and I realized what I was doing.

I had to stop. It’s not looking good.

“I shouldn’t be thinking about a guy I barely knew. So… i decided to go to bed and sleep it off and tomorrow, I will definitely not think about him” I told myself…

I lied….

I woke up and first thing I had in my mind was….. him.

Shit.

He got me.