STORY STARTER
Write a short story set in a waiting room.
Who is in the room and what are they all waiting for? Try to think outside the box.
STORY STARTER
Write a short story set in a waiting room.
Who is in the room and what are they all waiting for? Try to think outside the box.
Your imagery was really well done, you’re really good at the show-don’t-tell-thing! :) And, the emotions by the end were very strong and clear. I especially loved the impact of this line: “death is a frequent visitor here.” Also, I was into the repetition because when people get nervous or panicky, their stuttering b-because l-less like th-this and more, more like, more like this, so in my opinion it was well done and realistic… though it was a bit excessive at some parts. I was also a bit confused because the last two lines read more like poetry while the rest of the piece flowed like a short story. Overall l, though, I really liked your piece! I’m excited to see what else you come up with 😊
I like how you describe the circumstance of the protagonist without saying quite exactly why they are waiting. You slowly feed us bits and we realise the reason which is great.
One thing just in the middle part where there’s quite a bit of repetition and the lying bit, I don’t think it adds much to the story.