STORY STARTER
All the clues point towards me, but I can't have committed these murders!
From a first person perspective, write a short story about a detective who is slowly discovering that he might somehow be the murderer he is hunting.
STORY STARTER
All the clues point towards me, but I can't have committed these murders!
From a first person perspective, write a short story about a detective who is slowly discovering that he might somehow be the murderer he is hunting.
Thanks for the feedback Timmya83.
I went more for a reveal at the end as that’s just how the story developed.
Thank you, I like to include descriptions where I think they appropriate as it adds more to setting.
I don’t actually like using adverbs that often. For me personally I do not think they add a lot and an excessive use of them can actually detract from a story. Generally the story should make the reader aware of how the character is going to be talking because you’ve already shown them how the character is acting.
Have a read of this to see what I mean:
https://writingmanual.pressbooks.com/chapter/adverbs-2/
Hey Ian, thanks for the feedback hat you’ve given me. Here is some feedback for you !
I liked the overall pace of the story
But you seemed to have strayed away from the initial prompt of that he was the killer. Your main character didn’t have much pointing towards him, and later the murder didn’t even happen.
It was nice to see a cliffhanger kinda ending.
I liked your descriptiveness throughout the writing, that’s something I’m trying to work on.
Perhaps you could be more descriptive with your dialogue? Like you used the word said a lot. you could use words like : softly whispering, shouting , cried , screamed, muttered and maybe other words too. But things like that may be more easy to spot when things are proofread.