“The day you’ve been waiting for has finally arrived aren’t you excited?” My mother says with such excitement.

“I’m scared”

“Don’t sweetheart, you’ve going to do fine, no one else did as great as you” my father chimes in.

Today is the day I get to walk the stage and receive my diploma. A piece of paper that says I’m qualified to construct business and help those with addiction. But how do I do that when I’m addicted myself? today Molly has let me settled in but I can feel the shakes coming on. As I sit still my mother paints my face something glamorous.

“Oh honey you’re sweating is it too hot in here?” My mother quickly taps the thermostat on my wall, and dabs my forehead with a paper towel.

“No I’m just nervous”

Great another fucking lie, but I can’t just say: “no mom I’m not hot, just need to hit my crack pipe for a second”. I soon feel a chill travel up my spine it’s almost about that time. She’s literally screaming at me from my desk drawer.

My mother finishes my face, pulls my hair into a high bun. it’s time to go and meet with the rest of the family.

“Okay penny it’s time to go, we have to be to campus in an hour.” My dad shouts down the hall.

“Be there in a second” I open my desk drawer and there she is. Smiling at me waiting to ice out the back of my throat and lungs. Quickly I load the bowl, and pull hard, my lungs are coated cold, and soon I feel tingly all over. Just to take the edge off. The room begins to freeze and I feel so lifted. I want to sit here all day with her but I can’t.

I look at my dilated eyes, nothing I can do other open them a little wider. My legs feel like jello as I walk downstairs but I can’t make it noticeable. grandma and grandpa greet me with a warm hug and smile. Dad cleans out his car, and mom is fixing her appearance. Today is my day. But anyday that’s mine is hers. but im floating high and I can’t really care right now.

We all pile into the car, the 15 minute drive feels like forever, but I watch as the trees dance in the breeze. Wishing I could be apart of them too. We pull into the nearly packed parking lot and find a spot.

“Okay guys I’ll see you inside”

I slide out the car before anyone can stop me and get a good look at my eyes. I see my friends Beth and Stacy waiting for me at the entrance.

“Penelope Hi” Stacy says. Both girls pull me in for a hug.

“Looks like you stayed up all night” Beth says with a smile on her face.

Great even with make up on I still look like a fucking drug addict.

“Ha yeah, that exam Mr. Addams gave us was a pain in my ass”

“Ugh tell us about it. But hey we never have to take another class of his again.”

We link arms and head inside the sea of students eagerly waiting to get ready to receive their get out of school card. We take the three seats that are empty towards the back. The endless chatter in the room is making my stomach do cartwheels. my leg begins to tap and I’m quickly being nudged by Molly to get in the bathroom. My high is coming down and my dress feels like I’m swimming in sweat.

“Hey save my seat I’ll be right back”

The girls nod and I clutch my wristlet and go to the bathroom. Opening the door, a group of girls take over the mirror frantically fixing their caked make up. Clearly I won’t have any privacy while I do this. Fuck it. Into the stall I go. I slam the door, open my wristlet and pull out the travel tin foil. Peeking through the crack I watch as all the girls slowly leave. Thank god I’m alone, I flick the lighter and watch as the snow on the foil turns black. The cool feeling kisses my lips and down my throat. the room begins to feel dim and I am soon alone in my happy place. a few more hits and I’ll be loaded enough to get through the day.

The best day ever.