You two were gone The fun nights The happiness The laughter The feeling of carelessness All gone New people No similarities Below them I am below them A new language I don’t speak Don’t understand I cant talk Communicate with others I am mute here Unable to express myself Meet others I don’t want to But I want to be able to To talk to others Meet others Feel heard in this web that I call life Feel listened to Feel like I matter Feel that people want me around Feel like people care Care about me Care about my thoughts Care about my opinions What I have to say What I think Care that I want to be myself Let me be myself Don’t judge me for being myself Your presence is gone The world is wrong The people here don’t care They don’t want to They cant They don’t know How I feel What I think What everything means What I call home Where my real home is They don’t know They don’t care They told me I had friends They told me people cared Told me it would be okay The holes would fade Be filled by more happiness They haven’t been I feel your presence Like a ghost haunting me Telling me to come Only to stop me To tell me no That I cant continue That you don’t care That you’ve moved on That I have been forgotten Replaced Hated A year in No friends They don’t care I can speak now Enough to express my hate My annoyance The faults here The mistakes Then I found a friend Someone who couldn’t speak Who couldn’t share Who wasn’t listened to They weren’t as great as you two Not as understanding As funny As similar But kind Knew what I felt Knew the hardships Knew the struggles Knew the feeling of being lost She helped me Navigate my life Helped me through it Helped me through the pain Through the feeling of darkness Of never finding the light Being lost forever Gave me a new sense A place To belong To share Thoughts held in for a year My life What I felt My opinion They gave me a confidence To speak To share To tell others They gave me the opportunity to say Say my life Say my thoughts Say my opinion The darkness still comes You two I still miss Like burns in my soul But there is no ghost anymore Just real life The solid ground The feeling of breathing Sharing Telling Understanding This is what I missed The ability to do all this The ability to be myself I had it back I could share Tell others Make progress Be happy Miss you two all the same Think of you guys at night Cry about it About life The unfairness But it will all be over soon I will be free More free than before I will be happy Happier then I had been for two years Happier than ever The absence is still keenly felt But now the gaps can be refilled