Dear Mum
August 23rd, 2021. 7:45am PST
Dear Mum,
I just wanted to let you know that I have acquired the apartment I was telling you about during our last conversation! It’s right near the water, and a short walk from town. I think you would love it!… except for maybe the stairs. But the high ceilings, and several windows, make for a nice, cozy home. I’ve already hung a few pictures and set up my record player. Last night I listened to some Blue Rodeo in honor of you! I think I’m going to pack up and go out for my daily surf at a place called “Long Beach”. It’s a magical place that I know you would absolutely love. I will also be sure to send you pictures of that as well. Anyways, I will try and call later this week when I get a chance. Signal is a little spotty over here on the coast.
Love,
Pete
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August 27th, 2023. 11:45am EST
Hey Son,
It’s great to hear that you have settled in nicely at your new home. Hopefully you have managed to make some friends out there, and have managed to find some work too. The pictures you sent were incredible! Your place is a complete reflection of you, and Long Beach looks like something out of a movie. I can see why you chose to live there. Is that where you called me from after your surf on Monday?
On another note, I was admitted to the hospital yesterday, as my lungs are still not receiving the right amount of oxygen. I fear that the COPD I was diagnosed with years ago is getting worse, and I don’t know how much time I will be left with. I don’t want to cause disruption in your new life, but if you are able to come home, it would be nice to see you and hear your voice.
Let me know what you decide. Ray and I will gladly pay for your plane ticket home
Love,
Mum
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August 27th, 2023. 5:48pm PST
Hey Mum,
Never mind about my place or the routine I’ve got going on here. I will do everything in my power to get back home to you as soon as I can. I just informed my work that I will be taking off the next week, and they are totally understanding. Although, I would still come regardless… even if that means having to find a new job when I return. Seeing you is my first and only priority. I appreciate the offer from you and Ray, but I’ve got some flight credits left over from last year, so I will just use some of that to cover the cost of the flight. Looks like I can potentially get on a flight on Monday, so I will go ahead and book that. Stay strong this weekend, and I will see you soon.
Love,
Pete
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August 29th, 2023. 4:52am PST
Hey Mum,
I know it’s still early (before 6am) but I couldn’t sleep much last night after booking the flight and thinking how long this weekend will be. So I ended up calling Air Canada at 4:30 this morning, and bumping my flight to leave sooner. I briefly explained the situation, and the lady was kind enough to place me on a flight that will be leaving this afternoon… so It’s possible I could see you tonight. I’ve still got a bit of coordinating to do with a rental car, but I’m actually catching the bus at 9am to get to the airport soon. I will let you know when I’m about to board the plane.
Love,
Pete
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August 29th, 2023. 11:36am EST
Hey Pete,
I just wanted to let you know that early this morning your mother was admitted to the local Hospice. Her condition has worsened, and we fear there isn’t much time. I have ensured she is comfortable and taken care of. I’m not sure if you are able to get a flight back sooner, but I will cover the cost if you need any help with that.
Love,
Ray
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August 29, 2023. 9:57am PST
Ray,
I am actually at the airport as we speak. I had a weird feeling last night, and decided to change my flight to leave this afternoon. So I am just waiting for them to start boarding the plane. It’s scheduled to take off around 11:30 and I should be landed in Toronto around 7pm. I have a rental car that I will pick up as soon as I land, and I will be on route to you guys as soon as I can. Please tell my mom that I love her, and that I will see her soon. Thank you for all your help!
Love,
Pete
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August 29, 2021. 6:27pm EST
Peter,
This afternoon at 3:34pm, your mother passed away in her sleep. She was at peace and comfortable. She knew that her boys loved her and wanted to get home to be with her. But she couldn’t be in pain any longer. It’s hard to believe she is gone. I loved your mother so much, and it will be hard to imagine a world without her smile and laughter.
I know this will be difficult to process, so please give me a call when you receive this message. I’m currently at the Hospice with your Aunt Janet. We are going through the paperwork shortly, so everything will be sorted out when you get here.
I will explain the next steps when I see you.
Please remain strong, and know that I love both you and your brother.
Love,
Ray
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August 29, 2023. 7:20am PST
Dear Mum,
It’s been almost two years since you left. It’s an odd thing to process, and at times I often wonder what things would be like if you were still here. I miss you like crazy, and wish you could be here to provide your guidance and blunt honesty that I sometimes hated growing up. By as I’ve gotten older, I have learned to value that opinion… it was often the voice of reason, and allowed me the chance to see another perspective. Now, I have to go with my gut, and think outside of my normal train of thinking… without you here, I am forced to take my time with decisions and really absorb the options. But it still doesn’t fill the void you left behind. I miss calling you during my commutes and catching up on life. I feel at this time in particular, I’ve got some pretty big decisions to make in life, and I find it difficult with assistance of you and Ray. It’s crazy to think that you are both gone. Ray obviously was heartbroken and couldn’t bear to be without you… I guess that’s why he left us just a few days after what would have been your 70th Birthday. I’m not religious, but I do hope that whatever happens after death, it’s the same for everyone. In that case, I imagine you two are together walking endless beaches with beautiful sunsets, hand in hand.
I thought you should know that I have met someone who I think is quite special. But I have been very hesitant on putting any kind of label on it. Normally she would have to pass the mother test, but instead, I have relied on the opinions of the friends I have made here on the West Coast. She’s a hard worker, who also came from Ontario seeking a more nature focused life… so she has that similar desire inside as me. She’s quite creative when it comes to painting and drawing… she’s got a green thumb and enjoys things like gardening and herbal medications… and she comes out surfing with me as often as she can. I’ve decided that I don’t want to live together yet, because I think it’s important to have our own spaces for the time being… but I DID buy a trailer last week that I plan on taking down the coast this winter! And I think she will accompany me on this journey. That will be a great test to see how our lives can blend together. I don’t know what will come of it, but I m excited. I think you would be too. I know you would like her, so that makes me happy.
I wish you were here, but I understand that it would mean suffering and pain. So I’ve come to terms with that and tried to remain strong during the tough moments in life. I wish I could have been there for your final moments, but I know that Ray’s presence ensured that you were not alone. I’m grateful for all the time we shared together growing up, and even as an adult. You were not only my mother, you were one of my best friends, and I will always love you and hold you in my thoughts.
On my upcoming west coast trip, I will do my best to take photos and document the process because I know you always enjoyed reading/seeing those types of things. So I will use that as my motivator to make the most of it, and truly absorb the experience.
Until we meet again,
With endless and unconditional love,
Your son,
Pete.
