He glared so far away,

and yet so close that i could touch

he’s mad

i’m mad

everyday i’ve been trapped

everyday we talked, in my heart a war raged

the storm brewed

my head spiraled out of control

i let it all out

knowing he wouldn’t return the same desires

looking back it was stupid, why would i say that?

“I would love to wake up next to you, i would love to call you mine, everyday these feelings have grown. I know you may not feel the same, but do you think we could give this a shot? I have loved you since the day you helped me in 4th grade, you taught me how to tie my shoes, you let me live with you when times were rough, i didn’t know then what that feeling was but now i fully understand, please give it a shot, or at least forgive me and forget this.”

I rambled

I blubbered

I confessed

yet the only thing i have yet to feel is regret

now not only am i going to war with my heart

i’m at war with him

everyday from now on when i wake up,

when i go to school,

when he drives me to work,

we will be at war

this is our war zone,

my life is now on fire,

he’s burning it down,

i’ve burnt it down

Filled with regret, with sorrow,

how can i possibly win this war?

it’s physical impossible,

mentally impossible,

he is my war zone

and this is our battleground