What am I doing?

I can feel a storm brewing

Why is it so hard to be alive?

Why do I want to cut with a knife?

Why can’t I reach out?

She fills me with doubt.

Why can’t I vent?

She makes me only talk about the present.

I want them to know my past

They won’t care if you don’t tell it fast

But there’s so much to tell!

No need to yell.

It hurts. I say that a lot.

It’s a reoccurring thought

But I can’t tell you why,

Why I can’t fly.

Soon I will smile

Because of her I have been for a while

Soon I’ll be happy,

But it won’t be me

Soon she’ll come back

And give me what I lack.

You’ll see me,

But she is not me

And she is me,

At the same time.

She’ll show you how we were,

Don’t mistake me for her.