“Stacey, you’re not even dressed!”

I looked at him from the doorway, my heart ready to shatter.

“I know I’m not dressed. I’m not going.” I stuttered. I knew that I had to be strong but the realisation that I was finally having this conversation was enough to make me feel like jelly.

“What do you mean you’re not going?” K replied, “you know how important this night is for me”.

“Of course I know how important this night is for you! And that’s exactly why I cannot go.” I paused, taking a breath before finally facing it. “The truth is… I can’t go tonight BECAUSE it’s so important to you, because you need to impress everyone and because… well, I can’t stand and watch you talk to Jen as if nothing happened between us. I know we’re not together and I know we never will be. But I can’t help from wishing things were different. I love you Kevin. Unconditionally, uncontrollably and it kills me that you don’t feel the same. It’s great that you’re making your marriage work but I can’t stand by and watch as if everything is just as before. It’s not. And it never will be again”

K paused and sat down in the armchair. We’d never spoken about THAT night, six months ago. I think he thought that I’d forgotten, or that it had meant nothing to me - as it had to him. But I couldn’t pretend any longer. Not at my best friend’s vow renewal.