I must confess that the words

Held, beheld, beloved

Bring a dagger to my chest,

They wrap around me like a snake

That is going to suffocate me to death,

I twist and turn to try get ride of the fear,

But all that is left is the scars that never disappear,

I imagine the face of him

Lying in his death bed with his arms held in mine,

I wrap my arms around him begging for his life,

But all that is left is the remains of his death

He is My beloved,

But he left me in fear, and pain

Do I deserve this?

I think of it every day,

The meds don’t help,

Nothing will go away,

I regret my past, present and future,

Oh how I wish I saw him again

He is my beloved,

He is my beloved.