“You can only see the sunlight once you’ve touched the dark.” I explain, though it seems she still doesn’t get it.

“W-what do you mean?”

“You can only see you’re lucky if you know what unlucky really means. I’m not the bad guy, I just got unlucky. You’re not the good guy, you just got lucky.”

“How am I lucky?!”

I roll my eyes at this idiot. After all this time, she still doesn’t understand me. I used to think she always would, but now I know she never will, I don’t care though. After all, broken hearts harden into stronger stone then before.

“How are you not lucky?! You have these ancient, wonderful, mystical powers, and you get the choice to use them for good. You have friends who love you, and will only ever believe your side of the story. You have a home, you don’t have to fight for food or water or money! It’s all handed to you on a silver platter, just because you are special. You don’t have to sit on the edges of rooftops, and suddenly wonder whether everything would be better if you fell and died, you don’t have to kill to save your own life! You think this whole world can be in peace, yet the world is in pieces, and you still believe I can be a good guy! This is the real world. Grow up Rowen.”

I take a few deep breath, and with that, I disappear into the shadows again. I think of the options I have in my dreams. A gun. A rope. A knife. It all ends the same. Just as I’ve decided, I wake up, and forget my choice.

I don’t want to fall asleep tonight, back to the same old dreams, so I walk. The city is almost peaceful at night. Almost. I’m able to finally breathe in the quiet, and breathing makes me realize I held my breath the entire day.

Maybe I was too harsh on Rowen. I learned the hard lessons so early, but maybe I should have given Rowen the time I didn’t have. To late now I guess. I saw the look on her face when I finished yelling, she looked like she had been plunged into the real world for a moment.

But instead of being brave and apologizing, I do what I always do. Take out my spray paint can, find an empty wall, and be a coward once again, just using humor to cover up my pain.

(7 hours later in the morning)

Rowen wanders around the city, not really knowing where she’s going. She wishes she could stop Cami, but the conversation with her last night wasn’t very promising.

She walks up to a wall recognizing Cami’s font. Not that Rowen’s been stalking her or anything. But she groans as she reads the words on the wall, in bright red paint.

‘Fuck You Rowen!

-ur bestie Cami’