Cold water feels warm when you’re freezing because at the is point the air around you is much more frigid then the frozen over lake.

At least, that’s what you want to believe. Maybe if you stayed submerged in the murky ice water long enough your libs won’t feel as stiff; as if one single touch could shatter the bone into millions of tiny pieces.

The air might be so cold that it hurts to breathe, your eyes might burn but at least the water wouldn’t make all too much of a fight.

Maybe you could drown quickly rather than having to wait for hyperthermia to kick in. It’s not the best way to go out but it sounds peaceful enough.

It’s like anyone is around to just give you a gun, make it quick, easy… painless.

If they _knew_, they’d would only make this process so much slower. You don’t want a false coat of reassurance. You don’t want a fake wax candle of lies that didn’t even produced real heat.

That’s the last thing you could want.

They might control your life but they shouldn’t be able to control how you take it.

There’s still time though. Still time to go back. This place might not be home but you could try to make your own.

They don’t need to control you because you feel something different. The shouldn’t alienate you from the home they say you weren’t given. The home you’re supposed be in.

The home they say you have, isn’t a home. The water that shifts gently inbetween the frozen sheets, isn’t your home.

You’re not supposed to be here.

But there’s still time.