Santa isn’t who we think he is,

Santa is a bad man with a white beard.

He gives gifts and candy to children at night,

Behind parents backs, and runs when there’s a fight.

Santa isn’t who we think he is,

Santa is a dominant dressed in leather and cloth.

He carries a whip and denies bad children,

Like a sadist, he craves to punish them.

Santa isn’t who we think he is,

Santa is a stalker with OCD.

He knows when you sleep, eat and speak;

Checking his list twice, twenty times a week.

Santa isn’t who we think he is,

While some see a jolly fat Christmas figure,

Adults know he’s a deranged old man with cabin fever.