It used to be so thrilling every birthday,
To realize all I had ahead of me,
But soon excitement faded away,
And I didn’t want another.
My friends are eclectic,
And more flakey than I,
So parties do not tend to work,
Just RSVP no.
My family’s a mess,
Most just straight up don’t care,
The ones that did love me
Are no longer there.
It’s a lonely existence,
Feeling the space between us,
Wishing I could rewind or fast forward,
And we could once again be us.
Nice piece, Hannah. This is sadly relatable. It’s a sad reality growing up and seeing friends drop out of your life and less support from people around us. You captured this excellently.
I think this poem would have suited a nice simple rhyming theme, kinda like you did with lines 1 and 3 in the first stanza. But it’s not necessary. It was a well-expressed, well-executed poem.
If I had to comment on something, you might consider the way you word sentences sometimes. The first, for example, I think you ended the line in birthday to preserve the rhyme, but the sentence itself was a little complicated and perhaps should read like “Every birthday used to be so thrilling…”
Great piece, Hannah.
