Snap out of it, I tell myself. Focus.

“So I told her she didn’t need to be so…” my wife is talking but I missed the beginning. No idea who she’s talking about but I nod along.

I can still hear the ringing in my ears. No, not ringing. Screaming. I can hear screaming. Blood edges around my vision and I blink hard.

Snap out of it. It’s ringing. No one is screaming. I’m home.

Blood. So much blood. Blood all over my hands. The boy. The little boy. He’s screaming. He’s bloody. I want to help him. I have to get to him. I can’t move. I’m stuck, stretching my arms as my ears ring from the explosion. It must have been a IED. Dust everywhere. My vision is blurry.

Snap out of it. Focus.

“Sam? Did you hear what I said?” My wife stares at me with concern. A shallow level of concern because she can’t possibly understand the depth of what I’ve seen. That’s not an insult. I’m genuinely glad she doesn’t know. No one should know.

“Sam?” She repeats.

Snap out of it. Come on, focus.

“I’m sorry, babe. I think I just need some sleep. I’m tired.” It’s a weak response but it’s the best cover I could think of.

“It’s okay. Let’s go home.” She touches my arm and I jerk back reflexively.

“I’m sorry.” Her face is sullen.

We walk in silence. My ears are ringing. Blood is creeping into the corners of my vision.

Snap out of it. Focus.