When I was younger I used to be the life of the party. I was always so happy, and I was never scared of anything. I visited my best friend every day. She was the yin to my yang, the Yang to my yin, she was perfect…

But as years went by, my best friend started getting sick. Even so she never let me worry about her. Next thing I knew… she was gone. It hurts to much to even say her name. I broke in that moment, the moment she took her last breath. It hurt, it hurt so much that hurt doesn’t even describe it.

After that, my Mom decided that we should move away, to ‘get a fresh start’. I know she was just trying to help, but instead she made it worse. Know not only did I have to move on without my best friend, but I had to do it in a completely different place.

I became a new person. Who I was before died with her. I was quiet, barely saying a word all day. I worry that if my family knew what was going on in my head, they might not realize what I really mean. I grew angry, I screamed myself to sleep at night, wishing I could just vanish.

Loving people has consequences. So I chose not to love. Don’t let anyone in my fragile shell of a heart, I couldn’t let it be broken. Not again. Never again, even if it means not speaking to anyone ever again. So go ahead ask me if I’m okay. It will always be the same answer. I’m fine. Never was there a bigger lie.

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I had this in my drafts for I don’t know how long and thought I should post it. It’s not a true story just so you know. 🙇🏼‍♀️🙇🏼‍♀️ I bow down to Shadow Queen, and hope she comes back soon. 👑🖤