Happy birthday!
I love you so much.
I hope you have a great day,
And a great year,
And a great life.
I’m so glad that whatever’s happened between us,
Whatever we’ve been through,
I get to celebrate with you today.
And I hope we get to celebrate together for many more birthdays.
But for now,
I’m happy with this one.
Happy birthday❤️...
_Shut up. Shut up shut up shut up!_
I don’t know who I’m talking to anymore. Is it my parents, trying to soothe me? Is it my own mind, trying to ruin me?
I failed a math quiz. That’s all. But it’s also so much more than that.
When they found out my score, they immediately came to talk to me… to ask how to help. “Do you need flashcards?” they asked. “Do you want to review with us?”
_No. No, I d...
I belong with you.
It’s my place in the world.
Nothing, absolutely nothing,
Has ever felt this right.
Laying in your arms,
Resting my head on your shoulder,
Closing my eyes as you kiss me…
I’ve never believed in heaven,
But I think this is it.
I’ve never believed in fate,
But how could this be anything other than meant to be?
I’ve never believed in destiny,
But now I know mine is with you.
You’r...
I lost my streak today.
Well, yesterday I guess.
I put it off and put it off,
And only realized at 12:35 am.
I can’t describe how it felt to see that “0” where my streak should be.
I got to 154 days.
That’s the longest streak I’ve ever kept.
Ever.
In my entire life.
154 was the very best I could do.
5 months.
I couldn’t even get to half a year.
And part of me wants to be vicious,
To take out this...
Hope.
I’m fighting for it.
I really am.
I’m fighting to hope
That tomorrow I’ll be able to fight.
Because it’s just…
Too much and not enough.
There’s too much around me.
My overwhelming summer class,
The secrets I’m hiding,
All the things I’m failing, ruining.
There’s not enough inside me.
There’s…
Nothing, really.
I just keep hoping
That I’ll someday be able to hope again.
It feels like there’...
I’m sorry I ever left you.
I’m sorry I broke your trust.
I’m sorry I hurt you.
I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.
I’m sorry I let her near you.
I’m sorry I let her hurt you.
I’m sorry I didn’t help you.
I’m sorry I let you down.
I’m sorry I still can’t fix it.
I’m sorry I don’t know how to help.
I’m sorry I don’t know what to say.
I’m sorry I am not enough.
I’m sorry that all I can seem to say is
I...
I’m so sorry.
I’m so fricking sorry.
This is all my fault.
I hurt you,
I hurt you in the worst way possible,
And you forgave me.
You gave me a second chance,
One I didn’t deserve.
One I still don’t.
You gave me something I never earned,
Something I probably never will.
I’m just not enough.
I don’t know how to be.
I swear to you,
I’m not trying to be annoying or hurtful
Or rude
Or insulting
Or dram...
I’m not fine.
Not at all.
Not in the slightest.
And I really want to tell someone,
To get it _out_.
Even more than that,
I want someone to ask if I’m okay.
I plan out entire speeches in my head
For the unlikely event that someone did ask.
I want someone to ask if I’m okay,
Not because I reach out,
Not because I write a rant-poem about it,
But because they see it.
Because they notice.
I want someo...
I want you here with me. I want to hold you, to kiss you, to forget everything and just have _you_. You’re like a drug, and I’m addicted. When we’re together, everything else falls away. It’s just me, you, and all the things we could create.
But I don’t just want you now. I want you forever. I want to spend the rest of my life loving you. I want to fall asleep every night with you in my arms, and...
