She/her. I love books, music, and all things involving escaping reality. Fair warning, my poems tend to be rather depressing.
She/her. I love books, music, and all things involving escaping reality. Fair warning, my poems tend to be rather depressing.
I need help.
There, I said it.
I need help.
I thought I was okay.
I thought I might be able to make it.
I thought I was getting better.
But I’m not.
I see that now.
For months I’ve been getting worse and worse,
Brushing off the dark thoughts when they crept into my mind.
But I think I finally realized recently:
Suicidal thoughts aren’t normal.
It’s not normal to look into every mirror and say, “...
It’s nice weather outside.
And yes, maybe I’m drowning.
Maybe I’m screaming out to the world,
My cries silent on my lips.
Maybe I’m falling down, down, down,
Further than I’ve ever been.
And yes, maybe I am _dying_.
Maybe that broken piece I’ve always put duct tape on is finally starting to shatter.
Maybe my whole world is falling apart.
Maybe I don’t even know what it is to be okay.
And yes, m...
You know those days where you can either laugh or cry? When you can say the most messed up things with a grin on your face? When you can shatter from the slightest problem?
Yeah. Those days are fun, aren’t they?
It’s hilarious, really. On our break I was talking with my friend about how we’re all depressed, just some of us are aware of it and some of us are still oblivious.
And then at lunch, o...
Sleeping in until 11.
Falling asleep for two hours in a loud room.
Drifting off,
Slumping down,
Sinking away,
away,
away.
I’m just so _tired_.
Tired of being awake, yes.
But also tired of putting on this ridiculous facade that “I’m fine.”
Tired of dancing in a never ending masquerade of so called “happiness.”
Tired of convincing mysel...
I would be anything for you.
I would be whatever you wanted,
Whatever you asked.
I would make you love me,
Make you look me over and say,
“That’s my girl.”
I’d do anything to be in your spotlight.
I’d do anything to make you proud.
I just want your love,
Your affection.
I would be anything for you.
But I’ll never be enough for you.
Your anger for me creates
My anger for you.
Why am I not good eno...
Curled up in a comfy chair. It’s cold outside, but warm here. Music, silent to the rest of the room, wraps around my mind, soft like a blanket.
I don’t even like this song.
But I’m not listening to it, not really. For the first time in a while, my head’s empty. Quiet. It’s so comfortable, so peaceful.
My mind’s empty, yet there’s no void. My head’s muffled, yet I’m not concerned. No thoughts. N...
I was quiet,
But I was not blind.
I never said a word,
But I saw the signs.
Whispers become loud
When they echo in your mind.
Screams are still there
When they’re hard to find.
Wings still flap
When they’re in a cage.
Scars still hurt
When they heal with age.
You never saw
My disastrous fall.
You never heard
My unspoken word.
You never knew
What I never let show through....
“Do you think the sun gets lonely up there?”
Well, obviously.
The sun never gets a break.
Even when the sun stops shining for _you_
The sun is expected to shine for someone else.
The sun doesn’t get to sleep.
The sun doesn’t get the cool refresher of the night.
The sun doesn’t even know that exists.
The sun keeps shining, shining, shining.
Because that’s its only purpose,
That’s the only reason y...
I stop looking-
You haunt the edge of my vision.
I turn toward you-
You start to disappear.
I take a step forward-
You go hazy.
I reach out-
You crumble to dust.
I fall to the ground, lonelier, emptier than ever before-
You’re always just out of reach…
I thought of you again today.
It’s more than thinking, though.
I swear you were right there.
I could feel your arms around me.
I could hear yo...
It’s empty here.
A little cold sometimes.
A little hot sometimes.
I’m not doing anything.
Just…
Drifting.
Wandering.
Floating.
But it’s peaceful.
I’m calm.
Everyone around me keeps getting brighter and brighter.
They’re destined to be stars,
And I…
I don’t know what I’m destined to be.
I feel like I’m getting dimmer.
Not colorless.
I’m more vibrant than ever before,
More alive.
But I don’t shine ...