Hello,

My name is Lyla you probably know me as the witch who tried to eat Hansel and Gretel. the truth is…..i’m vegan . Those kids made that tragic story up so they could get famous. Would you like me to tell you what really happened? I’m gonna tell you anyways…buckle up.

it was a Misty misty night and some kids tried licking my lawn decorations. i told them that it was fake and there was real candy inside. THEY RAN IN AND STARTED GORGING ON THE CANDY THE DIRTY IGNORANT TOADS. they informed me that they needed shelter so i let them stay in my GUEST ROOM. NOT. A cage.

i kicked them out the next morning because i caught them sneaking downsstairs to eat my candy!!!

i am LIVID

it’s fine though because ‘baby’ by justin beiber is playing on repeat