self hatred driven to insanity.

scars & burns on the outside, a humourous comparison to the damage on the inside.

institutions & psychiatric holds, do nothing to help my troubled mind.

all ive ever needed is something i cannot find.

discouraged, delusional & psychotic... possessed by darkness all around.

no one ever cared enough to show me the light.

i was not worthy.

this exigent perception grew into disbelief.

love was not real & even if it were, it was not meant for me.

maybe im meant to suffer, for reasons unclear at the present time.

maybe im a terrible person & just too heedless to be defined.

ive caused heartache to the people that love me the most; contradictory: the same people who have never given me the compassion or support that i so desperately need.

why spill your beans when you cant clean them up?

why have a relationship with the enemy?

who are my enemies?

who are my friends?

im alone now.

tangled up with the realization that, my biggest enemy lives inside of me.