It is January 1st 2020.

And in 2019 I:

Travelled to Europe for the first time

Went to San Diego for the first time

Went to Canada for the first time

Spent my first summer away from home and had the time of my life

Had my first internship

Had my first semester off campus and in a house without my parents

Changed my major.. and minor

Died from alcohol for the worst time to date

Joined a sorority and went to my first date party

Asked for boys Snapchat and flirted at bars for the first time

Failed a class for the first time

Got denied from internships

Made many plans I didn’t follow through on

Had crushes and got friend zoned

Felt too self conscious to make myself known

Hid, lied, gossiped

Questioned my friendships and grew distant from people

Cried in my room and made others cry too

Pissed people off without knowing. And being fully aware

Loss weight. Gained weight. Starved. Fasted.

Did things I’m not proud of and things I am.

It’s January 1st 2020

And in 2020 I plan to:

Find some self esteem and care about myself more

Put my feelings before others

Be unapologetically myself

Ask questions when I’m confused and answer questions when I’m not

Travel with friends and family

Lose weight naturally/ test my mental and physical limits of healthy dieting

Ask James Remo to date party. Or any boy I choose

Talk to my friends when I feel upset

Stop making myself so upset

Stop obsessing on what people think or say

Comfort people when they are down

Tell jokes and talk more

Stop trusting everyone

Keep things to myself sometimes

Don’t let jealousy or envy ruin my relationships

Don’t let small problems get to me

Get another tattoo/piercing

Study abroad in Greece

Go on interviews and be accepted from jobs and internships

Take care of my mind, body, and soul

Go to church when I feel like it

Ask someone on a date

Make the first move

Judge people less

Write and create more

Work hard for things I want and deserve

Budget better

Be a better sister, daughter, housemate, and friend

Be more aware of the world around me

Surround myself with peers that will grow with me

Do things that I am proud of and stop focusing on the things I’m not

This year will be special because I will make it so.