Am I Pretty Enough?

Everyone at school was asked to say their biggest fear. As we went around the room I heard people say very obvious phobias, such as; clowns, spiders and heights. But when it was my turn to speak I said “The mirror”. I got laughed at and called an idiot, but if they knew the things the mirror said to me they would be scared too.

I look in the mirror and see my insecurities like a list on a wall.

“You’re not skinny enough.” The mirror insisted

So I starved myself and became skinnier.

I looked in the mirror once again hoping it would now be happy.

“Go eat a burger or something your a twig.” The mirror dictated.

So I ate a lot of food and after a few months I wasn’t skinny anymore.

I looked in the mirror again asking if it was happy now.

“Eww your fat go work out.” The mirror exclaimed

So I worked out, I did exercise and I started to become more and more fit.

I looked in the mirror begging to ask if it was satisfied.

No thoughts broke into my mind.

“I was finally free, I thought!”

I went to school the next day having a smile on my face for the first day in months.

I played football at lunch and got weird looks from all the boys when they saw how fast I was.

“Eww girls shouldn’t have that much muscle on them, you should be more petite and feminine.”

A boy explained to me.

So I stopped playing football and sat down.

When I got home I looked in the mirror once again hoping to feel better about myself when the mirror spoke up.

“Why did he say that, I thought I was finally good enough for you?!” I sobbed softly to the mirror.

“It’s because your not pretty enough.” The mirror argued.

So I covered every inches of my face and all my flaws vanished.

I felt perfect and as pretty as ever, I was finally good enough I thought.

I looked in the mirror feeling as weak as ever praying that I was pretty enough and asked for its validation.

“Your legs are too fat, your nose is too big, your ears stick out too much, your lips are too skinny, your too flat, you need more feminine features.”

A list was filling up my head of the things I needed to be and the things I needed to change he in order to be perfect.

I tried so hard to change every part about me so I thought I was perfect.

I was focusing so much on the bad things about me when I should have been focusing on the good.

I was very beautiful but I couldn’t see that because it was hiding under all that make up and negative comments.

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